we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
