I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
So vagazzling was a success
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
