im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
