u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
