Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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