The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
