Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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