hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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