He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
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If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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