Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
