Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
