Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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