so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
how does that bad decision feel?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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