wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
