i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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