It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
