tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
