Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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