Where did you get a picture of my penis
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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