You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
