You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
