and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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