I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
