Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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