god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
