census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
