He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
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