Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
