since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize