Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
