Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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