my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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