STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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