just survived the first fart of the relationship.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
