Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
