...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
