i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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