Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
