Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
