I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
