Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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