Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
a search helicopter?!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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