Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize