Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
