i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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