Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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