So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
