Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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