Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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