we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
