Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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