im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
