if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
When are your genitals available?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
