May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
