p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
