Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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