hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
