It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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