I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
