If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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