Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
