and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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