Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He uses pillows to masturbate.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
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