haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Randomize
