You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
