Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
