Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
