I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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