Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize