Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
