Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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