Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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