Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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